Sometimes I look in the mirror or a photo of myself and I just am not happy with what I see. The mean and insecure girl inside of my head will start talking some kind of nonsense like, “Look at how your stomach is petruding in that photo, Jess!” or “I look bloated in this dress” or “You cannot walk around in this bikini”… “Oh gosh I must of put on weight this week because my clothes feel tighter today… ” or ” I wish I had a flat stomach” or “My skin is looking incredibly oily today, ewww”.
My health journey has come a long way. These thoughts happen much less frequently that they used to. I have to be honest with my community…and these thoughts do still occur every now and then. I noticed it more so now on my holiday. I was out of my comfort zone, not eating what I usually eat, drinking leisurely and indulging more (which I know is actually so good for my body!). This made me feel slightly out of control, I guess. So many of us feel that if we look or feel thin, everything is better. If we stick to that perfect health routine, then our bodies will be happy, but if not…we will fail and put on weight. Being in control of our eating, means we are in control of our lives…so many of us feel that, right? When we let go, just a little…we feel out of control. We don’t trust that our bodies will take care of us. Crazy! We forget that our bodies listen to what we do most of the time, not sometimes. We don’t trust that all will be well. And our bodies will fight damn hard to keep us in equilibrium. We don’t trust this process? It breaks my heart.
I believe this is a little reminder that we must reconnect to our bodies. Building this strong relationship with our bodies will foster the unconditional love and respect that will minimize these unhelpful thoughts that aren’t serving us.
And then the guilt…
I felt so guilty having these thoughts. I mean, hello! I am a health role model to so many. I am dedicated to taking care of my body. This is my career and I cannot even shut these ridiculous thoughts out.
But I know these thoughts are not real. I know it is my ego and the very vein part of myself trying to take over. And that is what centers me again. We cannot believe every thought that passes through our minds.
I am still on my journey, I am still healing.
We are not perfect creatures. Perfect does not exist. This is something I am still learning. Are you also? And I promise you…we all have imperfect thoughts too. So how do we deal with these imperfect and SILLY thoughts about our own very beautiful bodies?
Some little helpful tips that I use:
- I focus on a part of my body that I DO LIKE. So I look in the mirror and say, “Oh your legs are looking fab today, lucky to have them!” I practice this daily now. This builds up my relationship with my body.
- I remind myself that those thoughts are my mean girl. And that mean girl does not deserve my time or energy. I believe our thoughts can become our reality and I do not want to foster this mean kind of relationship with my own body.
- I focus on all of the good and incredibly healthy practices that I am dedicated to. I thank myself for taking care of my body most of the time. Making a choice to live a healthy life is an amazing achievement. We are nothing without our health.
- I stop comparing…I remind myself that we are biochemically unique, so how can we expect to look the same as our best friends, sisters and colleagues. Its absurd.
- We are enough. Yes we are. State that to yourself daily.
- I believe the body actually loves and thrives on change and variety. Variety in our diets and routine is absolutely a part of the health equation. The body loves a little shock and being out of its normal routine. We must surrender and trust the process.
- Our negative self-talk is more harmful to our health than anything, than any bad food choice. I truly believe this. It is silent stress to our bodies and we know that stress is the number one health killer.
You are good enough! You are gorgeous!