My Struggle With Stillness & Addiction To Being Busy

Here I am on the plane. I’ve just come back from a 2.5 week holiday. Utterly grateful. I haven’t totally switched off since the launch of my online program. 

I travel a lot – but 90% of the time it’s for work. So here I am, totally recharged from a true holiday. 

You guys know I’m very strict with ensuring my lifestyle is balanced. I work hard, but I also have strict boundaries – I switch off all technology by 7pm every night. I rest on weekends. I have email breaks, I even delete Instagram during the day now so I’m only checking it 2-3 x/day in chunks. 

Lately, however, It’s been challenging to be still. I’m not so sure what to do with myself. I have a million thoughts running through my mind. I’m so addicted to being busy, frantic, non stop – being still is becoming more and more of a foreign notion. It scares me. 

I think I can admit I’ve become addicted to working. I love my work so it doesn’t feel like a bad addiction. But when I stop working – I notice that I feel a bit lost, I feel like I’m going through a withdrawal of some kind. Craving the busyness. Craving the non-stop. Craving my emails and the need to respond to everyone on the Program & social media. Feeling guilt about not DOING. 

I know that this is in inevitable part of running your own business. Growing your own business. JSHealth is where it is because of this non stop relentless mentality, but I do know this is a challenge for me that I’m working on.

See lately I’ve been thinking – maybe there isn’t such a thing as ‘balance’ when it comes to running your own business or for any of us living a FULL life – maybe we need to change that concept up a little. 

Maybe surrendering to this notion that life is busy, hectic, non stop – is the first place to start when it comes to finding this balance. 

So many of us resist these thoughts about feeling guilty and anxious when we have a moment to ourselves. We start punishing ourselves for not being OK to do nothing. Because we have a million bloggers, books, newsletters telling us that we must disconnect to live a healthy life. I’m one of these people. But I’m wondering if this advice is causing us to feel immense pressure which actually worsens the situation. 

Being OK with these thoughts eases anxiety. Lately, I don’t resist the guilt I’m feeling about doing nothing. I just simply notice it as something I need to work on. 

I’m proud of myself for being aware of these thoughts. This is the first step. And then when I notice my mind is too busy or I’m feeling guilty about not working. I talk to myself like I would to little Jess – and say to her “Jess that’s normal love. You lead a very full life, of course your mind is busy. Let’s try and do something to slow it down like practice yoga or read a book.”

See I used to shout at myself about having these thoughts. I’d say “Jess get it together. It’s not normal to have these thoughts!” I was mean to myself – I was bullying myself.

No more. 

I wanted to write this because while I was away I decided to really challenge myself.

To be ok with doing nothing.

To go slower and take in every moment.

To sleep in without thinking I ‘should’ wake up early to do do do. 

To not feel guilty about resting and not responding to emails. 

To laugh and have fun with my beautiful family. 

To trust that everything will be ok while I’m away.

I know I lack trust. Another thing I’m always working on. When we trust and surrender – resting becomes easier. Because resting is not just a self care practice, it’s actually an essential part of a healthy life. So many of us feel guilty at the thought of resting. I want to challenge this. I think a rested body is a healthy body. For our minds to be clear – we need stillness. Our nervous systems have to come back down out of the stress zone, the busy zone, the go go go. This is so important for your best life and body.

 

I challenge you to take this on in your own world. Can you be OK with being still?

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  • Adriana Webb

    Thanks for this. I can so relate. <3

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