A Simple Way to Ditch the Green-Eyed Monster

I’ve come to realize a really simple yet profound truth: being happy for others attracts more happiness and success into my own life.

I mean being genuinely, truly excited for people’s accomplishments. Even – and especially – when my first instinct might be jealousy.

Easier said than done? How do you ditch the inevitable “green-eyed monster” once and for all?

Honestly, I’ve always been comfortable celebrating the achievements of others.

While there have been many things I have had to work through in therapy, jealousy isn’t really a problem. Perhaps my darling mother and father instilled this in me. We were taught from a young age that nothing good comes from jealousy, but we were also taught that supporting others only adds value to your own life. Perhaps up until now I have been too immature to actually appreciate how powerful this is.

Over the last 2 years I have been blogging amount my journey. It happened from a very organic place – I had no idea it would turn into my own business. Sneaky secret: I am the least competitive person you could ever meet. As soon as I sense competition…I run away! I am not interested in beating and being better than others.

But I haven’t completely overcome envy. I have moments of “Jess, you need to step your blog up a notch like that one,” or “Your Instagram needs to look as polished as hers,” or “Why aren’t you doing this and that…Jess! You are not good enough.”

Jealously makes us nasty. And those feelings of jealousy have never served me. 

I wanted to share this post because there have been two very different scenarios that I face daily as JSHealth grows.

1. People who are so incredibly happy and supportive of me and my work. They flood my inbox and phone with messages. I often find myself tearing up from  immense gratitude!

2. And others who aren’t happy for me. I will hear through the grapevine that so and so has said something nasty about my work….they try to pull me down by talking gossip or criticizing what I do.

People from the JSHealth community and my personal clients are often surprised that I encourage and support their own careers in the health industry. I know how important being supportive is for the success of my own life.

When I think about people who are supportive of other, I realize that they seem grounded. So happy within themselves; at peace. They have their own success in their own way. There is not need for them to pull anyone else down.

The other group of people…well. I bless them with love because they’re going through their own journeys of pain and insecurity. They feel good by criticizing others because the happiness overwhelms them and brings up too much pain.

It hurts when your loved ones can’t be happy for you, doesn’t it? But we must shift our focus and view the situation differently. Over time, I’ve learned not to take it personally. Instead, I feel empathy. It has nothing to do with me.

So I release it. Let it go. Shake it off.  (Thanks, Taylor Swift.)

And guess what. I believe that attitude is what brings them more happiness and success. Honestly.

I see it with myself. If I have moments of competing or toxic jealous feelings….I actually attract negative situations to my life. It’s fascinating what it does. When I am feeling negative or jealous, it weighs heavily on me and my work. I have to shift my focus and choose to learn from it. Instead I will think, “wow that person is inspiring,” or if I don’t have any good thoughts, I just don’t waste my time thinking about it. Because at the end of the day, it only takes away from me as a person.

And it’s exhausting! It takes away from energy I could be using in much better ways – like taking care of myself, or my family, or my business.

The minute I choose to see that person as inspiring and feel happy for them…wow! My universe expands with overflowing positivity.

So I invite you to think about being happy for others.

Change your focus, and consider your own life. Put that energy into your success instead. Because not being happy for others takes effort!

I am confident that when you make this shift, you will start to notice incredible beauty and opportunities arise in your own life.

Give it a go – and see the magic!

This also seemed like the perfect opportunity to thank those who have been so incredibly supportive. You allow me to do what I love to do. You have helped heal me. I will be forever grateful.


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  • Emma

    Amazing post and couldn’t agree more. One of my favourite quotes is “Jealously is the thief of joy” – it’s so true!

  • Beautifully put Jess.


  • Liz

    Beautifully put. It is so easy to compare ourselves to others but how often do we rejoice those who cause us to feel pain? Probably rarely as it’s a hard thing to do. However.. the change starts within ourselves; once we do put a positive spin on our own feelings, that’s when negative things will subside. Everyone has their own path and it’s important to enjoy our individual journeys, rather than put dark energy into unnecessary situations. Thanks for inspiring me Jess.

  • Amy

    So beautifully said, I couldn’t agree more. L

  • toni

    Hi Jess, what a beautiful post… I so hear you. Just keep shining bright and blessing the haters x

  • Such a beautiful and heartfelt post Jess – you are an inspiration and I’m overwhelmed with the support that you’ve shown me in my endeavours! Thank you x

  • Drizz

    Hi Jess! thanks for sharing this post. it really resonates with me as i am only now just beginning my journey to better health – physically and mentally and so much of what i have been reading talks about this exactly. I started following your blog a couple months ago and already I’m feeling and seeing the difference. From the bottom of my heart – thank you! you have helped me start making the changes i have always known i needed to make.


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