All about Jess + Lifestyle

How I Cope with Jealousy and Competition from Success

19 August 2015
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This blog is coming from a place of total honesty. I think it’s important to write about sensitive topics like this because, at the end of the day, the blog is an expression of what I am thinking and feeling. It’s a place to help me cope with struggles and anxieties, and I hope, through this honesty, that it’s something you can relate to as well.

I’ve been blogging for about 2 years now; as you know, I started this blog to share my personal story and struggles. There was never an intention or even a thought of creating a business from it. There was no desire for attention and praise. I simply did it for me and for the passion I was developing for healthy living.

As my practice and readership grew, I wanted to cultivate it. I eventually decided to create a team to assist me with the business aspects because, honestly, that’s not what I care about. I care about my message and story helping women and teenagers around the world. I’m so grateful that, through this blog, the message is able to travel far beyond the reach of what I could do individually. Incredibly, it has become a successful full-time career. It’s fulfilling in ways I never could have expected, in both a business and personal capacity.

But as it’s become more successful, I have noticed something: people become weird! Not everyone, of course, but some people have not been supportive. And it’s hard for me to not take that personally, because JSHealth is my passion. The message is personal, because it’s mine.

So when I sense jealousy and competition, I become anxious. I tone down my success and my excitement, and I sometimes even find myself being derogatory. I don’t acknowledge my hard work. I give over my power to the person who is insecure and competitive. I want to make them feel good so they don’t feel threatened. Have you ever found yourself doing that too?

What I’m learning is that criticism is an inevitable part of success. But that doesn’t make it easy. I sometimes hear rumblings about me and my work:

“She got lucky.”

“Her recipes aren’t even that good.”

“She didn’t really create those on her own.”

Even though I know the truth, the words hurt. Because I work so hard. I created every single recipe with focus and the desire to make them delicious enough to share with this community, and to help people enjoy healthy food.

I am grateful that most of the feedback is positive. And perhaps the reason the negative is so hard is because I find it so easy to be happy for others. I truly love celebrating success, because I know how hard we work for what we’re passionate about.

For example, I recently had a really special book launch to celebrate The Healthy Life. Several people very close to me didn’t come. There was no reason given, and it hurt me deeply. This made me give pause and really think about some uncharted territory, and that’s why I really wanted to process and express this.

I decided to give myself a reality check. I asked myself why I was letting what felt like a snub impact me so much.

Because I prefer to focus on the positive, I turned it around. “Look at all the amazing people who are supporting you. Don’t focus on those who aren’t.”

Another thing to consider: the more success you have, the more it seems people think you don’t need their support. Far from the truth, isn’t it? It’s OK to acknowledge and appreciate support. We all need it!

Don’t forget: we can accept love and praise without playing small.

To be clear, I recognize all of the precious, happy aspects of my life. I am grateful for the beauty in it. I truly believe the universe is on my side (and on yours!). But the reality is that sometimes I feel sad, anxious and confused. I believe it’s important to share that side of me too – even, and especially, when things are going well. Those emotions are just as important to sit with and feel. I think it actually helps us better appreciate the good.

Let’s not be afraid of feeling it all. We are human!

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