How I Cope with Jealousy and Competition from Success

 

This blog is coming from a place of total honesty. I think it’s important to write about sensitive topics like this because, at the end of the day, the blog is an expression of what I am thinking and feeling. It’s a place to help me cope with struggles and anxieties, and I hope, through this honesty, that it’s something you can relate to as well.

I’ve been blogging for about 2 years now; as you know, I started this blog to share my personal story and struggles. There was never an intention or even a thought of creating a business from it. There was no desire for attention and praise. I simply did it for me and for the passion I was developing for healthy living.

As my practice and readership grew, I wanted to cultivate it. I eventually decided to create a team to assist me with the business aspects because, honestly, that’s not what I care about. I care about my message and story helping women and teenagers around the world. I’m so grateful that, through this blog, the message is able to travel far beyond the reach of what I could do individually. Incredibly, it has become a successful full-time career. It’s fulfilling in ways I never could have expected, in both a business and personal capacity.

But as it’s become more successful, I have noticed something: people become weird! Not everyone, of course, but some people have not been supportive. And it’s hard for me to not take that personally, because JSHealth is my passion. The message is personal, because it’s mine.

So when I sense jealousy and competition, I become anxious. I tone down my success and my excitement, and I sometimes even find myself being derogatory. I don’t acknowledge my hard work. I give over my power to the person who is insecure and competitive. I want to make them feel good so they don’t feel threatened. Have you ever found yourself doing that too?

What I’m learning is that criticism is an inevitable part of success. But that doesn’t make it easy. I sometimes hear rumblings about me and my work:

“She got lucky.”

“Her recipes aren’t even that good.”

“She didn’t really create those on her own.”

Even though I know the truth, the words hurt. Because I work so hard. I created every single recipe with focus and the desire to make them delicious enough to share with this community, and to help people enjoy healthy food.

I am grateful that most of the feedback is positive. And perhaps the reason the negative is so hard is because I find it so easy to be happy for others. I truly love celebrating success, because I know how hard we work for what we’re passionate about.

For example, I recently had a really special book launch to celebrate The Healthy Life. Several people very close to me didn’t come. There was no reason given, and it hurt me deeply. This made me give pause and really think about some uncharted territory, and that’s why I really wanted to process and express this.

I decided to give myself a reality check. I asked myself why I was letting what felt like a snub impact me so much.

Because I prefer to focus on the positive, I turned it around. “Look at all the amazing people who are supporting you. Don’t focus on those who aren’t.”

Another thing to consider: the more success you have, the more it seems people think you don’t need their support. Far from the truth, isn’t it? It’s OK to acknowledge and appreciate support. We all need it!

Don’t forget: we can accept love and praise without playing small.

To be clear, I recognize all of the precious, happy aspects of my life. I am grateful for the beauty in it. I truly believe the universe is on my side (and on yours!). But the reality is that sometimes I feel sad, anxious and confused. I believe it’s important to share that side of me too – even, and especially, when things are going well. Those emotions are just as important to sit with and feel. I think it actually helps us better appreciate the good.

Let’s not be afraid of feeling it all. We are human!

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  • Oh well said! I have found I get passive agressive comments. I dont think people intend on being mean but they give backhanded comments. “Oh who taught you that session/workout/recipe?”
    Ummm I did. I make it myself…
    It almost makes me laugh now after reading your post too Jess so thank you.

  • Beautifully expressed, Jessica. Thank you for sharing! x

  • Amy

    Thank you for sharing this, I couldn’t agree more.
    It’s also a beautiful reminder to make sure I’m being as supportive as I can be too – it’s easy to get caught up in being busy even when it’s the beautiful kind of busy.
    Big love x

  • Gen Dyson

    Jess! I completely understand your position. Sometimes I feel as though Australia has a culture whereby the minute someone gains success from what they have worked for, they are shunned/excluded as if they should feel guilty for reaping the rewards of their success. I have witnessed this firsthand as my family went from having absolutely nothing – to establishing a solid (and now national) business, enabling us to live a comfortable life.

    I say keep being you! The amount of people you have inspired far outweigh those who are overwhelmed with jealously that you have found your direction and purpose in life.

    JSHealth shares such a positive message and is my daily inspiration to live a balanced life. So thank you, Jess – you’re going amazing places.

    Gen x

  • You are such a special soul! You deserve all the good that is coming to you! Thanks for sharing
    xxx

  • Helene Kangisser

    Hi
    This is a very real thing.
    I also learnt this and it took me long to understand.
    I find it easy to be happy when other people succeed. Some people have insecurities and become jealous and just can’t celebrate others successes!
    There is enough for everyone in the universe but some people haven’t come to that awareness.
    The best way I have found to be, is to be humble and grateful!
    Thank you for sharing your passion!!
    I am about to go on an overseas trip and plan on using your tips❤️
    Thank you, you are inspiring!!
    Xoxo
    Helene

  • So well said! Louise & I often get less support from those we love than we like. Our motto has always been ‘take the high road’. It’s so nice that another wonderful blogger is doing exactly the same!

  • Hello Lovely,
    Thanks for writing this. I love honesty.
    I just wanted to connect to tell you that you are an inspiration to me. I’m obsessed with health and will one day have some cookbooks of my own. along with a thirving health hub and retreats. What you do is amazing and needed. We are lucky to have someone like you in the tribe. Sadly tall poppy syndrome is big here is Aus as people find success lights up their percieved failings. Keep shining Jess, as your light truly brings people up and those in the shadows will see that in time. xxx

  • Kerry

    It’s very humbling to hear that you face adversities too, Your blog and your book have completely given my world a 360 and i have changed so much of me for the better. Thank you x

  • Dear Jessica, thank you for sharing this post on your blog. I appreciate it so much! I feel exactly the same in my business and with some people around me and sometimes it’s really disappointing. But what was really a good thing you’ve said was:
    Some people don’t think you need any support anymore
    That’s another point of view and I’m sure- for some people, that’s the reason why their not showing up anymore.

    I really love your success and your work. Keep doing that girl, with your head up. You can be proud everyday without worrying.

    Thank you!
    Warm regards from Germany,
    Melanie

  • Julia

    Thanks for posting this Jess. I too, feel the way sometimes around people that I believe should be supportive of the successes in my life. I never quite feel comfortable talking about what’s going well in my life, like is it bragging or acknowledging what I’ve worked hard for?
    Don’t let your truth be silenced, you are helping others and that is something to be very proud of.
    Aloha, from Hawaii

  • Karise Dell

    Beautiful, honest post Jess, much respect for your bravery x

  • Loved this post Jess. Thank you for being so open!

    I’m sorry to hear that some people close to you didn’t come to the Healthy Life event, but I’m happy to hear that many did and were there to support you =)

    Your success should be celebrated, and I think it just shows how some people just aren’t as secure with themselves and where they’re at to be able to celebrate other people’s success. I think it just shows what an amazing place you’re in that you can celebrate other peoples without getting resentful.

    Stay strong, and if they’re close enough and love you as you deserve, they’ll come around. You can always let them know how much it hurt, as some people really don’t get it!

    Xx

  • Very inspiring!

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