Wedding pressure to look perfect

I am getting incredibly excited: my wedding is 3 months away. It really is a special time, planning and preparing and spending quality moments with the people I love.

And I can honestly say that I have remained a very calm and present bride-to-be. I haven’t allowed the little details to stress me. I haven’t been controlling – which is a huge accomplishment considering what a perfectionist I am! I have surrendered to it and have had full trust that the day will be all I have ever wished for.

However – I would be lying if I said I haven’t put pressure on myself to look and feel my best for the day.

The old Jess creeps back in sometimes. I can be so mean to myself! That old mentality starts putting all kinds of rules restrictions on myself – in the pursuit of perfection. Which is funny (and frustrating) because I have certainly learned that perfection does not exist.

Still, the old perfectionist in me puts ideas in my head. Things like:

  • No alcohol for 6 month – JESS! (Needless to say, this totally backfired)
  • Pressure to sleep well every night – backfired! In fact, when I try to force this I find I don’t sleep well at all
  • Pressure to exercise a little more than usual
  • Not treating myself like I normally would with foods I enjoy
  • Silly thoughts like “Jess, you should have almond milk in your coffee instead of your favorite full cream milk….”

And what is the funny thing about all of this? What I know for sure?


When I put all these pressures on myself, my body gets filled with stress. And I find I actually want those things, like alcohol or extra indulgent foods, more and drive my mind crazy over them – whereas before I placed those restrictions on myself, I didn’t give them much thought at all.

See, my mind obsesses over it. And this is NOT healthy.

My body functions best when there is less stress and pressure. I am my healthiest when I surrender to being imperfect.

But restriction + deprivation = obsession = stress = unhealthy relationship with food.

This is the old me.

These days I choose to be kind to myself, not cruel. Can you do the same?

Fortunately this is a very rare moment for me. This mindset used to be my everyday occurrence. Now these anxieties pop up only every now and then – and I feel I have the tools in my toolbox to DEAL with these. I talk a lot about how I got to this place in my book, The Healthy Life.

These day I choose to be kind to myself, not cruel. The fact is that the wedding has been a little triggering and I feel so grateful I have this blog to express these IMPERECT feelings. Because I am not 100% perfect or 100% healed. I am still on the journey, and I know you are too. We are in this together. Supporting each other.

Here for you!


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  • Courtney

    Just read this post, but this is so me! I make crazy calls like telling myself I won’t eat chocolate for 6 months or drink for a whole year. Always backfires and I feel guilty. I’m getting married in 16 months and am loving your mindset and will be following suit!


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